Why Choose Baby-Daddy vs. Husband Category?

Hello Sweetea,

Why are men of a certain age afraid of an unwavering relationship and getting married but are willing to be labeled as a baby daddy, a live-in partner or a boyfriend? I would think as you get older in life one would strive for more in their personally life and not settle for mediocre! I was watching House of Glam the other night and the topic of marriage was brought up at Brandi’s dinner party. It was amazing to hear the responses her boyfriend/baby daddy had to say. The two have been together for 7 long years with two children and he still feels he isn’t ready to jump the broom. He had the nerve to say he rather be a baby daddy then get married. I just couldn’t believe a man of his age would think men are better off fathering children instead of creating families.

However, I wonder should I be mad at Charles or Brandi. As she pointed out he have choices and so do she. She has a choice to tolerate his behavior or kick him out. However, I don’t understand why women settle for less or is it compromising for the sake of their child(ren) not growing up with their father…. But how long must a woman wait for a guy to man-up to the plate?

For some crazy reason our society in general assumes never-married women of a certain age must be a goal-digger, unstable, demanding, etc but it’s okay for a man to be single with children in different area codes and have a good 10 plus years before people start thinking there is something wrong with them. Brandi’s boyfriend, Charles excuse for not getting married is he is afraid of marriage. Also  because he seen a lot of his friends getting a divorce which is understandable but shouldn’t be a crutch to why you refuse to marry your children’s mother and live-in girlfriend for 7 long years. What I always ask a dude when he say he don’t want to get married because of divorce rates is “Are you those divorcees or are you an individual writing your own story?” Why are they reading someone else storyline and claiming it for their future with one foot in and one foot out full of excuses!?

The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 — the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990. The highest peak was 5.3 in 1981, according to the Associated Press. The double-standers in our society have really jagged a lot of people mentality and behavior with the divorce being a woman’s game. So, I would love for people to do their research before claiming their lack of mutuality and fears of marriage due to divorce rate and getting crucified in a divorce to scare them into not getting married. I refuse to believe a man would really want to remain unfettered and enjoy the company of different people especially with all these diseases out there!  But the numbers tell me a different story…..

It’s super sad that New York is consisted the best place for singles. The City that never sleeps have many singles now unemployed, unmarried folks running around taking advantage of their severance packages and enjoying all that the city has to offer. With 35,000 restaurants, 3,800 bars, and 734 museums some single men feel there is definitely plenty to do in New York City and why be entrapped by one relationship or/and why get married. The popular dating site, Match.com, has more active accounts in the NYC area than any other location. 8.1% of coupled households consist of unmarried heterosexual partners, according to The State of Our Unions 2005, a report issued by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. The same study said that only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents — the lowest figure in the Western world. A society creating fatherless homes instead of 2 parent household united by love and commitment! To me, marriage is something that’s most important if you want/plan to have kids. So, what are you to do if you have children, live together and marriage doesn’t look like it’s going to be an option?

2 Responses to “Why Choose Baby-Daddy vs. Husband Category?”
  1. Kathy says:

    OMG, I love your website and your writing!! You just be hitting it on the nail!!! Someone need to add you to their magazine or you should write a book because your great!!!!

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